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Solo mute things: a story of Star Wars that everyone just ignored

Solo mute things: a story of Star Wars that everyone just ignored

Look, it's not going to be easy to say, and it probably will not be easy to hear: solo: a Star Wars story was no worse than hepatitis. It's difficult when you spend the entire lead-up to a construction film of your expectations than to get them upset like this, but what can you do? Sometimes a multi-billion dollar franchise specifically crafted from its creation to be a Pleaser Crowd actually winds up pleasing crowds.

Despite the drama behind the scenes and the almost audible moans of every insatiable nerd on the Internet, solo: a story of Star Wars told a pretty good, autonomous story. It was light on all the things that people are tired of seeing in the series (Skywalkers, lightsabers, plus Skywalkers) and remained interesting, like, 90 percent of the way through, which earned him a bigger rotten tomatoes score of two out of three prequelles,

Okay. Now we will drill holes solo until his spleen falls.

1 No dice


When Han's dice reappeared in the last Jedi, they sparked two fan reactions. A little sparse shouted "These are dice from Han, as featured in the 1977 Motion Picture Star Wars: a new hope, initially titled simply Star Wars, but then retroactively ..." before going out as the loneliness of putting it on. The rest of us went "huh?"

The pair of golden dice that Luke focuses on so significantly in the last Jedi were not, as it turns out, a huge deal. They arose in new hope for a couple of shots, then quickly disappeared for 40 years. They were not the most iconic piece of Han Solo paraphernalia, but it was clear from the way they appeared prominently in Episode VIII that the Star Wars factory had big plans. Were the Han dice playing with when he won Lando's Millennium Falcon? Were they all he had on him when the Space Sisters found him at the Star Orphanage? These dice were important for the story. You could just feel it coming.

Anyway, five months later, Solo was released and it turned out they were just something brilliant that Han loved.

2 Tattoo-why?


So Han brings the fuel of space to the near-rebels and Woody Harrelson is all "I have to throw, there is a deception of a half-credit easter egg for Venom to call my name." they say goodbye. Before he leaves, Woody mentions that there is a big job waiting on Tatooine if Han is in a clandestine mood. It's a funny wink. Han will finish on Tatooine, and he will work for Jabba, and one day he will have a child and everything will be fine, all thanks to the reference work of Tallahassee Zombieland.

Except for a few scenes later, Harrelson Straight Up betrays Han in a big enough way, and it's implied that Han knew it was coming. So, with that being the case, why did Han follow the work recommendation of a guy who thought he would be dead in 20 minutes? If anyone tried to kill you, and earlier in the afternoon they said, "By the way, I can put you up with a deputy director position in Panera in the valley if you want," would you say? you still show to Panera with your resume in hand?

3 No escape


Solo: A Star Wars story has added a lot of little details to Han's life. Important details? no, not very often, but it does not matter. It was funny! One of the things that a lot of OG nerds have been talking about is the new silhouette of the Millennium Falcon; a streamlined, cleaner look, missing from his trademark-with-a-bite-took-out biscuit at the front. During an action sequence, we learn that the hawk used to have a set of exhaust pods built in front of it, but they were ejected because of drama.

Here's the problem. Why did Han never land a pair of new rescue pods for his ship? The guy is not usually fed on the idea of ​​seeing things through, and he's constantly on the run from either the Empire or a number of unscrupulous slug monsters. Does not this look like the kind of person who would like to invest in a quick getaway plan? At least he could have chewed on the front of the ship. When the retreat at the front of the hawk was only part of his design, he was unique and charming. Now that we know it's the equivalent of a Corolla 97 with a missing rear view mirror, it's just a bit of a drag.

You Proximad, bro?



Solo introduced us to some new characters, with mixed results. There were some failures, like the social justice droid with a crush on Donald Glover and the six-armed comedy chimp from Act Two, but there were some winners, too. One of the soloists must be the very scary Lady Proxima, the crime leader of Corellia who looks like a drawing al Hirschfeld of a celebrity centipede.


We will not sit here and discuss the stupidity that Proxima is vulnerable to sunlight. This part was pretty cool. It's a strange extraterrestrial. She comes from a strange extraterrestrial planet, probably one that does not have much sun. Filmmakers have done a great job of putting this part of his story with clues to visual context. It was cool.

What was silly was that she, the Machiavellian Mastermind who ruled the life of a planet, did not have the foresight to get into her windows.

5 It's like riding a bike with a thousand buttons


Han was great for stealing spaceships, was not it? It's almost as if it's his passion, the work of life, and the whole function as a character in the first film. Odd that the Empire met a child who had been spurring the spaceships as they were Xboxes since he was 10 years old and said "Eh, let's make him a grunt," but whatever. The army will do what it will do.

What is extra weird is that three years after Han joined the Imperial Army, he is still fresh as a daisy when it comes to stealing sick interstellar hunters. If you've already driven a car for the first time in a while, you'll understand where we've come from. There is this awkward warm-up period where you have to remember where the windshield wipers are, which is the turn signal, which roads you can drive down to avoid the police since your license has been revoked, etc. All what must be much more difficult in a spaceship, right?

The fact is, how was Han still so great at driving things after three years of grunt work? Do they have a copy of what the space version of Crazy Taxi is in the Imperial Barracks?

It is boring Han


Here is the biggest sin of this film. Maybe it's nitpicky, it may be too critical, and again, keep in mind that it was a well-established self-contained film.

OK, here it is: solo: a story of Star Wars Made Han Solo boring.

We are not talking about the presentation of the character himself in the picture. It's the implications regarding who Han is as a person that this movie is about Cabot on.

What was great about Han in new hope was that he lived in the gray zone. When we meet him, he's not a great guy. He is a moral salesman, doing a dirty job if the price is right. He has no problem threatening that his friend tears your arms. This guy is practically an antihero. That's what makes him so great when he turns the Hawk around and Luke's Chucks help him out on a Star Death Kersplosion game-there was really nothing guaranteeing he would come back to all. His decision to do the right thing felt like a real piece of character development. It was, to quote the Greek philosopher Parmenides, totally Dope.

But now, thanks to Solo, we see that he has been metaphorically revolving around and helping to explode the Death Star. It gives the Proto-rebels their space gas, although it would be easier and more lucrative to give it back to the bad guys. That means he is not morally gray at all. It's just a love that can not stop talking about how hardcore he is.

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